The first blog is taken from my old Punterlinkblog that has since been removed.

I strongly believe that as adults we need to behave that way and be responsible for our own sexual health, only we know where we have been, we can only take others words for their history.

From 2006
Decided to blog about one of our highlights of "the job"! If you ever wondered what a GUM visit is like this is my frank account.

Went for my routine STD testing the other week. Drove to the hospital bloody tired, waited 8 weeks for this appointment. Got to the car park and of course it was full and I was of course running late. Eventually found a non designated parking area that I decided was worth the risk.
So I walked round the front of the hospital to this grotty looking porter cabin that had all its paint falling off it. Nice GUM sign on the building so that it was nice and clear that getting tested was the only reason people went into there.

Two seperate doors, one for men and one for women seperate by what looked like trellis. Once inside it was not much better. Paint peeling off the walls, dog s**t brown carpet and those horrible rickety plastic chairs that kill your arse.

Once checked in I sat there and wanted an hour to be seen, it was meant to be working on an appointment basis but we have to get real here and say when is the NHS ever on time???

Having read my magazine and got bored with my book I twiddled my thumbs before finally being called in.

Waiting room in general has a bout half a dozen women in there all embarrased about seeing another person there. You would think we had something contagious the way it feels to be sat there. Occassionally there is some small talk but on a whole every face stares at the floor hoping and praying no-oe will notice them.

It gets a bit annoying on each visit having to explain that I am an escort and please can they test for this, that and the other. Think the first doctor I saw was a punter or a pervert, could not decide which. He had a stupid animated grin on his face and licked his lips when he spoke to me looking at either my eyes or my boobs(which for once were covered up).

Am sat back in a corridor for a further half an hour whilst they hunt for a pot for me to pee in.

Am led into a room where I am asked to lie on a bench and put my legs in the stirrups. No room for modesty now. With my bottom half clothing removed in walks my sleezy again. I swear he took enjoyment out of shoving the cold cervical metal thingie, that is it's technical term. As they are clamping it open I began to feel him scratching away at my cervix. Kind of painful, kind of awkward, very irritating. Next he got another one of his dabby things and scratched away at the skin externally. Once he had collected his samples from my vaginal area he made a start on my mouth.

This is the point where gag reflexs are not good.

Am told I can dress and go back into the waiting area. Am sat there for half an hour before I am called in for my blood tests. The nurse quizs me for what seems like an eternity about my job because I asked for the Hep B vaccination. I am not in any of the risk groups but wanted it for my own peace of mind. Once she has taken her dart practice out on my arm I am given a bag of condoms, 10 condoms in a bag, now that is going to get me really far.

They were actually nice condoms, might treat myself to some in the future, new brand I have not tried before.

So I leave the shabby building with a plaster on my arm and a new bruise forming, and we cant forget that it triggered off a bleed being fiddled with that much. The best bit to come is getting the results. Some are same day, some are a week later and some are three weeks later.

Have finally had all the results and the results are what I expected, crystal clear. Such a joyus occassion that gets repeated every 12 weeks.

Welcome to the world of a sensible escort xx