My next blog is dedicated to hopeful returns for his questions regarding outcalls.

In response to the olive question that many have asked, I don’t mind stuffed or non. As long as they are firm and juicy. The oily ones are bad.

So back to the question in hand. Outcalls, what I do and don‘t expect.

If to your home, when I ask for your full address as it appears on the electoral roll, that is the point where you let me know if it is on the privacy report, I don't want to check the standard one if it is on the privacy report, as this takes longer to check and we can get off on the wrong foot.

Outcalls are great in the sense that there is more preparation that goes behind them and the anticipation is greater. When visiting the clients home on an outcall I am always nervous about how the home will look like. I have seen every type, the grotty seedy flats to the glorious houses that I make clients take me on a tour of. The ex property girl in me has to see all the property. I have seen spotlessly clean to ridiculously dirty. I am anally clean but muddily as hell, too much stuff waiting for the next charity shop run!

I like to receive plenty of notice, not a last minute whim, I want to make sure that I am dressed well, comfortable, hair is great, etc.

So when I go to an outcall, parking for me is essential. I like to know my car is going to be safe, it is not a great car, 5 yrs old worth about £3K, but it is mine. So dodgy parking areas make me want to turn around and drive off. Which I have done in the past. I once left my car in the residents parking area of a house in Harlow and came out to find a lovely big key mark down the side.

Another thing you don’t expect to see is a messy front garden. You know the type like the outlaws in “Keeping up appearances” the broken down car, rubbish everywhere.

Inside I expect it to be relatively clean. At least vacuum the floors, make the bed and clean the bathroom. The amount of times I have gone to an outcall and the borderline OCD freak in me makes me clean the bathroom while I am having a pee! J

I take my shoes off unless I am told to keep them on. I always wipe them when

I expect to be offered a drink as it is one of the first things I do when people see me, it is all about manners. It doesn’t always happen though. I have turned up on outcalls with a can of Diet Coke in my bag only to have the client want to drink it as well or have a five hours job and be offered nothing! I don’t want to have to ask for a glass of water.

I don’t expect nibbles and make sure I have eaten beforehand, or at least tried to. On some longer bookings clients will cook, which is a lovely, but not expected touch. I offer them same in return though.

I don’t expect guys to put a towel on their bed, I certainly don’t at home, my bed is stripped clean for each client. I think the towel business is so that the other half does not realise someone has been on their bed. I would face down any pictures in the bedroom of you as a couple, not for me but for you.

I always make sure I tie my hair back once in the bedroom, long blonde stray hairs could give the game away.

Music is a nice touch, just something in the background to get rid of the deathly silence and also make you less paranoid of groaning. I did purchase some travel speakers though and take them on outcalls with my ipod. It is a good idea if you are in a hotel, wafer thin walls and creaky mattresses, I hate the noise of the mattress creaky during sex, it can put you off! Music is a good mood setter.

Pets don’t bother me at all, I am a sucker for animals so clients have to be prepared for me to want to see them.

I love being offered shower facilities before and afterwards. Some car journeys can be hot and sticky and I always like to drive home fresh.

The last thing I don’t expect on an outcall is some stupid dress up request to turn up like that. One I have to drive to you like that which could mean 1hr+ with a coat on. I have to get out of the car in front of your neighbours houses like that and also have to walk through the door like that. Clothing requests for minor things I don’t mind but don’t dictate the entire wardrobe to me. I wear what I am comfortable in and dress appropriately for my surroundings. I don’t mind bringing something in particular to change in to, I always bring one lingerie outfit!

I think the rest are all standard outcall expectations, no-one else in the property and cash upfront.


Kimberley
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#2 3 March 2008, 23:51