The email I received about Essex, by popular demand added to my blog.

To the county that has more tanning shops than doctors, made "Tango'd" colour tan popular, home of the white stilettos, Ford Fiesta Essex boy racers, more peroxide is probably used on hair in Essex than any other county, and that is just on my head alone

You know you're from Essex when.....

You've been to Colchester Castle on a school trip.
You know what Bas Vegas is.
You Christmas shop in Lakeside .
You stand behind Jodie Marsh in the supermarket.
You scream out Essex when you're drunk and just outside London when your sober.
You recognise that water is pronounced with a silent t.
You've heard every Essex girl joke under the sun and they still aren't funny.
You once thought that a train on a pier was cool.
You remember when Southend Pier used to be the longest pier in the world.
You get a little excited when Eastender's ventures into Essex for one episode.
You know or know someone who knows someone who has been on Big Brother.
You know what Chelmo is short for.
The drink Lambrini is very familiar to you.
You overuse the word mate to complete strangers.
You say shut up a lot.
Peter Pan's playground was a highlight of your childhood.
People think you are posh because you don't have a tattoo.
You've been to a lot of different garden centres.
You go on holiday to kavos or the like and see the same people as home.
Even when abroad people laugh at you when you tell them where you're from.
You have to dress up as a chav and don't have to buy anything.
You go to the ogs ead at ornchurch..
You go out wearing a top that doesn't cover your belly...or belly button.
You commonly state that Bluewater is full of 'posh shops.'
You get your acrylic nails done for any occasion.
You mix up 'are' and 'our'.
You use 'Mug' as an insult and not for describing a drinkin implement.
You pronounce Essex 'Essix'.
You say things like "My light don't work" or "I fink it's broke".
You pronounce Dagenham 'Dagnam'.
You know you're from essex when you say words like....

INIT- Isn't it.

EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty."

EJOG - A small, spiky animal (hedgehog).

FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off wiv fingy last ight."

FONG - Skimpy undergarment.

HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I.

ALRITE DARLING - Hello miss

LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal.

MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park .

PACIFIC - Specific.

ROOFLESS - Without compassion.

SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved.

WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment."

WELFIE- Rich.

SAFF - South.

FARRRRRRK OOUFF - Go away!

...but we're still proud!